Cleaning up My Act...

Finally, I get to post on my blog, finally the wait of the world has been released... Finally Labour day, the slight relief from the cauldron of chaos and uncertainty has arrived...

Indeed following the weeks of my absence from the blogging scene, things have not been so rosy. Receiving a note saying "can i meet you out for lunch" from a female is certainly cool, but then when you realise that it's from your director of consortium (DC), well it does bring you back down to earth. Well, I certainly know why...

Yes its my grades. Really, an MSG of 6 or something like that is certainly something not to be proud of. Indeed, yet the querky nature in me, this extrovert like introvert like I am cant help but trumpet out this figure to evryone in a hope of soliciting their sympathy. Indeed the querky nature of human psychology.

And yes, as you have guesssed I have managed to bury my grief quite well and am coping quite well with it. Thousand apologies to those who have been made to suffer due to my consitent emo mood and depression like expression that has been a constant fixture on my face.

However, in the midst of this incredible slump, this has certainly resulted in a large amount of reflection on my part. As according to my pedantic nature, i shall now proceed analyzing the failures of mine.

Math - Clearly a case of addiction to some online game which has resulted in the partial ignorance of this topic. A tinge of overconfidence here and there as I had assumed that studying in recess was a suitable way to take in information, whilst studying just before the test was my idea of keeping the topic "fresh" in your mind before the test. IN the end the stark realisation hit me - real hard, worse than jerrold colliding with my nose when playing soccer - when you are nervous, it is the things that you study for a long time that remains in your mind. YOu revert back to your roots, your prior knowledge the knowledge that you have honed rather than the knowledge that you have just gleaned from your last minute studying. Well, math is all about practice -- a lesson which i feel i have learnt well over the past few weeks.


Chinese - Well, also due to that spastic online game which now looking back isnt really so fun anyway. Studied chengyu but didnt study ciyu and that resulted in my downfall. PArtly due to the lack of time to study. But then again... The Li jie was definitely unfair but you cant blame the marker when it is a societal problem -- the education system in singapore stilfes your creativity and you soon learn that for comprehension questions -- no matter how much the teachers say is an inference question -- IT isnt really YOUR inference, but the examiner's inference. If YOUR inference does not match, you pay the price. So much for Chuang YI which is translated into creativity... But of course, living in singapore you have to do what Ceaser does, errr no Mr KY and his associates say, and adhere to the system.

Chemistry - Finally something to trumpet about, yet there is a sadness about me as I realise that in my effort to boost my science scores (my traditionally weak subject) my other scores were greatly affected. STill one must not be so materialistic when it comes to scores -- I have gained lots of information about molecules and chemical bonds. Although i dont see how learning about molecular interaction will help me in life, well USEFULL knowledge must be learnt. (HOpe i didnt come out sacarstic there, the capitalization was unintentional. HOnesT!! ITs pretty random... )

PHysics - Here my grieviances are culminated in. Studied real hard for it too, like chem. Like chem it culminated in a B3 something which is respectable in my opinion. Then comes the online quiz which i didnt do and is unfortunately 30 percent of the final grade. SHIT (pardon the language) 30 percent -- for something which everyone copied and got full marks -- What the Heck? Are they mad?? !!! Well, but its still kind of my fault cos i didnt do it. SHEESH is all i can say. You just cant please everyone. If i had done the onlien quiz i would be kissing the teacher who made it cos i would have gotten at least an A2. BUt well now... its a different story.

IH --Tests have not come back -- but looks screwed to me in my opinion -- HIstory had poor time management -- Geog had misinterpretations of 2 diagrams = GG!!

Well so this is my reflection on the tests i have done. I really hope that i have learnt this very painful lesson... BTW See you in remedial class for nxt term's sabbatical. Life is like that - you have to fact the consequences for your errors. You can learn from them -- but you need to accept the consequences.

I Am

I am the Wall
Grey Concrete Reinforced
Cold Steel
Your tongue breaks against
My Shield
Your whip cracks,
But i remain
The Cold, Grey Wall

I am the paper
On that Wall
Pink, Gay, Merry
I light the tunnel
Joke, Sing Dance
Words slide off,
I shrug off Your attacks
With laughter

I am the wail
The one I hear
Not the babe.
In the wall behind the paper
the man.
The Man,
Who dares cry;
I am no wall, I crack
I am no paper, I tear
My mind is no crucible
Your words scald me
burn me

I am the mimosa
I am frightened
I am no child
but darkness,
its scary.

But
if You hit me, if You hurt me
I remain
The Paper,
The Wall.

The Archetypical Scholar

William Tell shot an arrow
Tightened the screw, Checked the feathers,
bow, string, wind.
But missed
and it hit a tree.
Drew a cricle of white, red, white, around it,
Sat down and ate the apple.
Contentedly

I shot an arrow
Did my ACE, homework, studied for tests,
assignments
But missed nirvana.
The arrow was without point.
I studied but didnt study,
I learned but it unlearned!
and I hit the tree.

So I turned the bow around
shot
And hit nirvana
The easiest way...